NRH WATCHDOg

TODAY'S TOP STORY:

NRH Watch Dog Exclusive: The Empty Chair Conspiracy — Council’s Secret Advisors Revealed

North Richland Hills — Ever notice how there are always a few empty chairs at every city council meeting? Rows of perfectly aligned seats — yet somehow, mysteriously, never occupied.

Most residents assumed it was just poor attendance or citizens losing interest. But according to Blakie-Poo, the city’s self-appointed guardian of governmental absurdity, those empty chairs aren’t empty at all.

They’re reserved for invisible, interdimensional advisors.

Whispers Through the Vents

In a stunning exposé Blakie-Poo dubbed “The Chair Affair,” he revealed that these ethereal consultants — known only as “The Unseen Advisors” — communicate with city leaders via subtle vibrations through the air conditioning vents.

According to his findings, every major vote in the city’s history coincides with “HVAC anomalies,” including temperature spikes, unexplained drafts, and what he described as “a faint smell of bureaucracy mixed with ozone.”

One anonymous janitor confirmed,

The Phantom Quorum

Official records from City Hall show that attendance logs consistently note “Present” next to three unnamed placeholders labeled ‘Guest – Advisory Entity’. When pressed for comment, the City Clerk said, “That’s just a formatting glitch,” but Blakie-Poo insists it’s evidence of cross-dimensional governance.

He claims these invisible advisors are responsible for:

• The city’s obsession with carports (“They block portal access.”)
• The ongoing mosquito crisis (“They feed off interdimensional blood frequencies.”)
• The rise in budget workshops (“They thrive on confusion and paperwork.”)

Who Are the Unseen Advisors?

Blakie-Poo’s research suggests the group originated in the late 1970s, when the city installed its first centralized HVAC system. He believes the vibrations accidentally opened a rift, allowing these bureaucratic entities to “phase in” during council sessions.

He’s dubbed them “The HVACrats.”

Residents have reported strange phenomena near City Hall:

• Papers fluttering on windless days
• Meeting minutes mysteriously edited overnight
• The Mayor’s microphone cutting out whenever the topic of transparency is discussed

Blakie-Poo’s Experiment

Last month, Blakie-Poo attempted to expose the phenomenon by placing foil-lined seat cushions in the council chambers to block “vibrational communication.”

The result? Total chaos.
Within minutes, the HVAC system malfunctioned, sending bursts of cold air through the vents. Lights flickered. The council meeting ended early.

He has since filed a Freedom of Airflow Act request demanding access to maintenance logs, thermostat data, and “any communications between city staff and invisible beings.”

Council’s Official Response

When reached for comment, a spokesperson for the city replied:

But the Watch Dog remains unconvinced.

The Watch Dog Verdict

He paused, squinting toward the ceiling.

Coming Next from The NRH Watch Dog:​
​“Ghosts of Governance: Are Our City Leaders Sharing Power With Beings From the Vent Dimension?”

Be Sure To Spread the Truth,
​Blakie-Poo, Your NRH WatchDog