NRH WATCHDOg

TODAY'S TOP STORY:

NRH Watch Dog Breaking Report: The Affordable Housing Inside Their Heads Plan

“Finally, a housing initiative that’s all talk — literally.” — Blakie-Poo

NRH — In a shocking but completely predictable development, disgraced former councilman Brent Vaught and perpetual candidate Tacky Bent have unveiled their most ambitious plan yet to “solve” the housing crisis — by allowing the entire city council and their families to live rent-free inside their heads.

According to their joint announcement, this “innovative” solution provides unlimited mental square footage for political rivals, journalists, and anyone who’s ever disagreed with them on Facebook.

“We’ve got so much empty space up here,” Tacky said, tapping her temple during a livestream. “It’s time to put it to good use. The council can move in immediately. There’s plenty of room — we’ve barely used it!”

The Brains Behind the Plan

The partnership, dubbed Project MindEstate, reportedly began after Vaught realized that no one was actually paying him rent for occupying his thoughts.

“They’ve been living rent-free up here for years,” he shouted into a hairbrush during an online rant. “Well, not anymore! If the city wants affordable housing, I’ll provide it — I’m basically a mental landlord!”

When asked about zoning regulations for imaginary real estate, both Vaught and Bent claimed to have already submitted their “thought plans” to the Department of Internal Affairs and Headspace Development.

City officials, however, insist no such department exists.

Affordable (and Uninhabitable) Housing

A leaked blueprint obtained by The NRH Watch Dog shows a detailed diagram of the “mental subdivision,” including:

Delusion Drive
Grudge Grove
Echo Chamber Estates
Cognitive Dissonance Circle

Each “resident” receives free rent, no utilities, and constant access to incoherent Facebook posts about “what’s really going on at City Hall.”

“It’s not just affordable,” Blakie-Poo said. “It’s imaginary — which makes it infinitely sustainable.”

Critical Thinking? Evicted.

Concerns have arisen that this new housing initiative could further reduce already scarce critical thinking in the area. Experts warn that Vaught and Bent’s plan effectively converts brain cells into low-income delusion units.

“They’re rezoning reality,” said Dr. Ima Fakename, senior analyst at the ThinkTank for Sanity Studies. “There’s simply no evidence of intelligent life operating the property.”

According to residents, Vaught and Bent’s shared “mental HOA” enforces strict rules:

No facts allowed after 5 p.m.
Opinions must be at least 60% outrage.
Rent is paid monthly in “attention and validation.”

Community Reaction

Locals are already mocking the plan, with one commenter writing:

“Affordable housing inside their heads? Great — now we just need someone to build an exit.”

Another added,

“Finally, a project Brent can manage — because it’s completely made up.”

Even city officials reportedly got in on the joke, suggesting that Vaught apply for a federal grant under the Department of Empty Promises and Cognitive Vacancies.

The Watch Dog Verdict

Blakie-Poo summarized it best:

“It’s affordable, it’s available, and it’s vacant — just like their ideas.”

He continued,

“If we can fit the entire city council in their heads, maybe next we can build a parking lot for all their conspiracy theories.”

Coming Next from The NRH Watch Dog:
“Open House: We Take a Guided Tour Inside the Heads of Brent and Tacky — Spoiler: It’s Mostly Echoes.”

Be Sure To Spread the Truth,
Blakie-Poo, Your NRH WatchDog

6000 Hawk Ave, North Richland Hills, TX 76180
Unsubscribe · Preferences

NRH Watch Dog Exclusive: The Empty Chair Conspiracy — Council’s Secret Advisors Revealed

NRH WATCHDOg TODAY'S TOP STORY: NRH Watch Dog Exclusive: The Empty Chair Conspiracy — Council’s Secret Advisors Revealed North Richland Hills — Ever notice how there are always a few empty chairs at every city council meeting? Rows of perfectly aligned seats — yet somehow, mysteriously, never occupied. Most residents assumed it was just poor attendance or citizens losing interest. But according to Blakie-Poo, the city’s self-appointed guardian of governmental absurdity, those empty chairs...

about 24 hours ago • 2 min read

NRH Watch Dog Exclusive: The Rise of the Anonymous Horde

NRH WATCHDOg TODAY'S TOP STORY: NRH Watch Dog Exclusive: The Rise of the Anonymous Horde “When everyone’s anonymous, no one’s accountable.” — Blakie-Poo NRH — In what experts are calling “the digital apocalypse of decency,” North Richland Hills’ once-vibrant online community has officially collapsed into a swirling pit of anonymous accounts, conspiracy-fueled rage, and cowardly comment-section warfare. According to Blakie-Poo, the city’s self-appointed guardian of truth and purveyor of chaos,...

1 day ago • 2 min read

NRH Watch Dog: Operation Rent Control — The Return of Tacky Bent and the Rise of the Blockchain Brainlords

NRH WATCHDOg TODAY'S TOP STORY: NRH Watch Dog: Operation Rent Control — The Return of Tacky Bent and the Rise of the Blockchain Brainlords North Richland Hills — Just when you thought the city had recovered from her last twelve campaign losses, Tacky Bent is back—and this time she claims she’s “fighting for affordable housing.” But Blakie-Poo, the Watch Dog himself, has uncovered the sinister circuitry behind this supposed crusade. Documents “mysteriously delivered in a Realtor-branded...

1 day ago • 2 min read